Feeling Out of Control? Here's What Actually Helps
Ever spiral about something completely outside your control—like your coworker’s weird email tone, or your neighbor’s intense dedication to leaf blowing at 6am? Yeah. Same. We’ve all been there—gripping tightly to things we can’t change while our sanity packs its bags.
But here’s the truth bomb 💣:
Research shows that spending too much time ruminating on uncontrollable stressors increases anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. A study in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that people who focus on uncontrollable stressors experience more chronic health issues and emotional dysregulation than those who focus on things they can control. (Like not checking your ex’s Instagram at 2 a.m. 👀)
So what can you control?
More than you think—starting with your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and what you put out into the universe.
8 Quick Shifts to Reclaim Your Sanity & Sense of Control
1. 🧠 Use Healthy Coping Strategies: Stress-snacking on Doritos is a vibe, but long-term? Not ideal. Try breathwork, movement, journaling, or just saying “no” to stuff you don’t have space for.
2. 🛑 Set and Maintain Boundaries: Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re filters. Say it with me: “I can care about you and still say no to you.”
3.📱 Limit Social Media Time : The scroll-hole is real. The drama, the FOMO, the TikTok’s about someone else's perfectly curated nervous breakdown... Step away. Seriously!
4.📏 Know Your Limits: You're not a robot. You can’t pour from an empty cup. (Or send one more “per my last email” without snapping.)
5.⚡ Invest in Energy-Worthy People & Spaces: If it drains you, it doesn’t deserve prime real estate in your brain. Period.
6.🧘♀️ Listen to Your Body: Tight chest? Headache? Doom-scroll fatigue? That’s your body waving a tiny red flag. Pay attention.
7.🗣 Ask for Help + Be Vulnerable: Hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s human.
8.💬 Watch Your Communication: Only 7% of communication is your actual words. The rest (93%)? Tone, body language, and the dramatic eye roll you don’t think people notice, THEY DO!
Bonus Tip: Talk nicer to yourself. Seriously, if your inner monologue is meaner than a middle school group chat, it's time for a rebrand.
Overall, you can’t control the weather, your boss’s 4pm meeting invites, or the Wi-Fi cutting out during therapy. But you can control how you react, how you care for yourself, and where you invest your energy. Focus inward. Adjust your expectations. Take a breath. And maybe—maybe—mute your group chat.
Need support getting grounded when life gets wild? At TDT Counseling Services, we help you reclaim your peace, shift your focus, and build emotional muscles for the chaos curveballs.